Chris Core's Core Values

Dear Mr. Core:

Let’s be fair: WSSC has it easy compared to PEPCO.  I mean water falls from heaven and for free, right? And then it just, like, runs downhill. WSSC only has to pour the water into pipes and – well – that’s it. When you’re through with it, it goes back into a pipe and dumps into the river. Hard. Really hard to do.

You can’t argue with the facts, Mr. Core.

On the other hand, those underpaid people at PEPCO have to get electricity from those big spiny things that take electrons and make them AC (that’s “alternating current” for you liberal arts majors). And then make them go into wires and transformers.

And that’s another thing, when’s the last time you ever heard of lightning hitting a pipe?  Or a pipe breaking because wind blew a tree over and fell on it?

You see, WSSC doesn’t have to deal with atheists the way PEPCO does, because PEPCO explains that lightning strikes and high winds are Acts of God. Just ask your priest or your insurance company about Acts of God. But atheists don’t understand, Mr. Core. I mean, how can they?  And tree-huggers. We send out people to cut down those trees that God doesn’t like because if He did, would he send lightning and wind to knock them down?

If you’ve got to beat up on someone, beat up on those wimps over at WSSC—they’ve had it too easy for too long!

Not quite completely sincerely yours,

Hampton DeJarnette

To read the original Core Values PEPCO’s Profits, please click here